When Did You Learn It’s Not Okay To Shine?

When I was 5 or 6 years old, I got this bathing suit. But this was not just any bathing suit, people. This was THE bathing suit.

The bathing suit to top all bathing suits, a thing of truly magical powers.

To be honest, it was probably from K-mart or something, and it probably cost all of $8 and change, but this suit was a miracle to me. Why? Because when I put it…