There are two things I’ve learned in my journey to making more money and having more success in my business. I’ve learned SO MANY THINGS (omgeeeeeeee) but there are two things that really stand out, and that is that:
1. What feels like doubt is actually FEAR.
2. What feels like shame is just an attempt to stay SAFE.
When I’m doubting myself, it ALWAYS (even when I can’t see it at the time) is really only a self-protective measure for the fear I’m really feeling underneath. And not fear of failing (because I already know what it feels like to fail, I have a lot of practice at that!! 😂) — but fear of winning.
Fear of succeeding.
Because I do NOT know what to do with THAT, and I’m afraid of how that might change things. Or change me. Or change my life. Or the people around me! 😱 It’s more of an unknown, and unknowns always equal FEAR for human beings, more fear than the comfortable knowns — no matter how shitty they might be!
Of course all of the above will go on UNDER YOUR RADAR, on the subconscious level. You don’t actively think you don’t want to succeed, but it’s there.
But the more aware of it you are, the more you’ll notice it, and the more you notice it, the more you will shift it purely by your own awareness and actions that are born out of that awareness.
Then comes SHAME. Because shame is just fears INSTRUCTION.
Here’s how it looks, I try to do something new and fear pops up and says, “no bueno! back off from that! no go!”. Then, when I don’t listen and go ahead anyway, fear says, “holy shit she’s serious! bring on the shame! she’s not staying in her hole! For christ sakes call up the cavalry!!”
Why? Because shame’s primary function is to “keep me in line”. It is an attempt to protect me from being exiled. To keep me safe from that. It thinks it’s trying to help me by hurting me.
This does not work of course. And it is damaging as all hell, but it has a benefit. It has a benefit or else we wouldn’t do it. And that benefit is staying in the comfortable-knowns (even when they’re hella uncomfortable).